


Confessions

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Break Downs, Completed, I keep adding tags as i go sorry, Lots of minor characters - Freeform, M/M, Modern AU, a lot lol, also my tags are trash, baby peggy tho, i get inspired by music, i'm terrible at writing character, insecure and guilty thomas, probably too sappy for anyone in their right mind, that's pretty gay alex, thomas is a wreck tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-07 15:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 11,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10363875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Thomas and Hamilton end up "giving advice" or "confessing" things to each other;; Chapters based on songs (that I like obv)COMPLETED: APRIL 7TH, 2017 :D





	1. Fake It

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be terrible so sorry in advance!! Honestly no idea how long this will be since I write straight from my brain and use songs I find fitting.

It was only the second meeting. Again, things were heated. Alexander and Thomas couldn't ever find anything to agree on. The issue this week was to either help a sister business defend itself against an increasingly large company or steer clear of that war. Thomas urged they lend a hand, as the sister business did when they started up. Alex opposed this; he argued their firm was still too small and fragile to get caught up in a battle, in which they'd be crushed. Washington, their boss, found both perspectives appealing but his opinion fell onto Alex's side. After the glares between the opponents ceased and their co-workers filed out, only Thomas and Alex were left.

"What are you hiding?" Thomas inquired.

"What are you talking about?" Alex retorted.

"You must be holding back whatever traces of self esteem you have and thoughts of fitting in behind that mask of your's. You begin finding reasons that prove you're right when there is any falter or fall in my arguement. Your refutes are dragged out longer than the actual talk of your opinion on the issue. Not to mention but you are a hypocrite to opinions you don't hold unless shown otherwise. How long until you crack?" Alexander was amazed by the wordings Thomas chose and was too stunned to reply. Thomas had already rolled his eyes and taken off by that point. As Hamilton dragged himself back to his office, he wondered if Thomas was just assuming things or stating facts of himself to cause a stir in Alex. But what he wondered the most was this; how long did he have before he broke?


	2. Afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a break down from one party and humiliation for the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boi~ This one is a doozy~

It took two weeks for him to break. This meeting was the last straw. Alex had kept himself contained for long enough. Everyone was almost all the way back to their places when they heard the yelling. Both men had been peacefully walking out and Thomas opened his mouth slightly to go to say something only to be met with something unexpected. "Okay!! This is it! Your words rattled in my head for two weeks straight and I've had enough! They've made me want to scream, in all honesty! You suck! You're an arrogant ass who thinks only for his own gain! Yes, I think of reasons when your argument falters because its a _debate_! Yes, I hide my internal feelings behind a mask so I don't _burden_ anyone with them! If you pulled your head out of you ass for one second and thought before you spoke, _this wouldn't have happened!_ " Alexander finished with tears pouring from his eyes, for the first time in a long while, and shaking head to toe. He wandered off as everyone continued to stare, utterly shocked. Thomas began to feel a tightness in his chest and slowly headed back to his office. He sat down at his desk and laid his forehead against it. Yup, he messed up big time. He knew everyone would glare and gossip for at least a month.

\--

Alex, on the other hand, had stumbled to the bathroom and locked himself in a stall. He couldn't believe he had shattered like china after a raging bull swept through. He didn't mean for it all to come out but the words slipped from his mouth before he could catch them. He knew everyone would pity him now and that he had humiliated Thomas in front of the entire staff. To be honest, Thomas was his best debating partner and kept him on his toes. He was always afraid of being replaced from that position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that lovely? Also wanted to apologize if the chapters seem too short;; again I'm just thinking as I go (well I wrote this at like 1 something this morning since I kept thinking about it lol). No ideas how updates will go as school starts again (kms) and I need to find more songs I can base writings on so~~


	3. Bittersweet - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Alexander go to a bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! I've taken a portion of the day since I got up to write so it's a lot more detailed and longer than the other two. Also, this one is a two parter because I have a good idea for the second part. Enjoy~

There was no need for verbal communication when he entered. Alex knew it was Thomas when he came in as he had heard the barricade of people outside. Thomas had rolled his eyes at Angelica when she was the most reluctant to let him shove in. Alexander was one of their top notch workers so this incident was a huge deal. Thomas knew which stall Alexander was in by the sound of sniffling and crouched down, reaching his arm that was just long enough to reach under to unlock the down. Alex was sitting, leaning his forehead on the porcelain of the toilet, and still bawling. His dark hair was disheveled and thick against his neck. Thomas felt it only necessary to hold it up for him, as awkward as it sounded, and also make his presence known, well more. He slowly took up most of the strands into his palm, trying not to be alarming. Alex still turned towards him anyway, losing the hand in his hair, and Thomas studied his face which was red tinted with a slight puffiness. There was still no word exchange but a small head tilt and nod, signalling a readiness to get out of there, sufficed. Thomas helped Alex up and saw himself out as Alex composed himself. No one batted an eye for Thomas but became gravely concerned as Alexander came out. Both men came down the stairs and to the front doors of the building when an option was offered.

"Bar?" was all Thomas said, getting a nod in response.

\--

The nearest bar was only a block down from their building and was half way decent. Thomas offered to pay for their drinks, opening a tab, and Alex didn't complain. But he knew no matter the amount of drinks he would have, they would barely phase him. He had an immunity due to the sheer amount of drinking contests he had had against Lafayette. Thomas, on the other hand, was going to be decently affected, feeling it the next morning. After two Irish car bombs and a whiskey with Coke, Thomas was in the beginning phase of drunkenness where he was more open to sharing. Hamilton sat there nursing his Amaretto sour and hearing what the other man had to say.

"Look, I'm sorry. You probably never expected in a thousand years to hear _me_ say that. I didn't mean for.. _that_ to happen. It was more of a thought being said out loud." Alex began seeing the shell of arrogance and the face Thomas put forth fall away with each word.

"I hate to admit it but you're the best person I've argued just about _ever_. Debating people like Charles Lee is an easy win. They become insecure about their argument when the unexpected happen. But, _you_ though; You detail everything and have passion behind each sentence you speak. Sometimes, I sit back in wonder what's the use if you overshadow me in almost every debate." About halfway into the first sentence, Alex had secretly started doing an audio recording, knowing Thomas wouldn't notice. he knew he wouldn't remember this conversation tomorrow, especially after a third shot. Alex wasn't sure what he'd use it for; he could play it when he needed a self esteem boost or... he could talk about and play it for everyone else. Who knows? It may slip from his mouth at any point since he made small talk quite a lot. He snapped from his thoughts when Thomas began again. "Ha.. Look at me. I'm a mess, having given the most praised worker in the office a break down and using alcohol to forget my problems." He sighed as he rested his chin on his arm that was laying on the counter.

 

~~~To be continued~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mehehe~ Btw, yes I know the name of some alcoholic beverages. My family drinks, long story short. Are you ready for part 2? hehe


	4. Bittersweet - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second time is charm. Unless it's a humiliation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo this was also a doozy. And sad. Sorry~~

Over the next week, a rumor began. Who started it? Alexander, of course, but indirectly. He had mentioned he had gone to the bar with Thomas but the rumor started with someone asking what was said during their time there. Rumors only grow, in the words of Burr. It was on Saturday when a small group of people came into his office.

"Yes, dear Lee?" Thomas slightly furrowed his brows and darted his eyes up from his work. Charles Lee was the head of the group and stood foremost, a grin plastered on his face.

"So the king actually has feelings under that coat of arm? Shocking."

"He is not as arrogant as once thought." Added another.

"Not to mention he has a soft spot for Alexander." Angelica spoke, coming to the front.

"And where is your proof?" Thomas replied, cocking an eyebrow. Charles held up Alex's phone and clicked the play button. Thomas's stomach sank as he heard the replay of words. A lump started forming in his throat. Noticing the ruckus, Washington came over.

"Alright, alright. Everyone file out, peacefully please." Everyone chattered as they exited. George closed the door so Thomas had privacy.

As soon as it was, tears streamed down his cheeks. First, Alex humiliated him in front of everyone. Then recorded him while he was vulnerable. Then started a rumor. Now everyone would find him weak and probably joke that he was in love with Alexander. He was a wreck when his door cracked.

"Thomas?" Called a small voice from behind the door.

"Get out.." Thomas growled through his sobs.

"But-"

"Get out!!" Thomas looked up, now looking like Alexander previously. Alex shakily closed the door, giving him space.

\--

About an hour later, Alex came back, having volunteered to check up on Thomas, and found him napping. It seemed he had passed out after his break down. He brought in a tray of food, as Thomas missed lunch. He set it down carefully and examined the sleeping body. He fixed some of the curls near his face and ran his hand over the cheeks stained with tears. When he emerged, everyone's mood had changed. They had first been devious but now they were also concerned for Thomas.

It was a mystery why Thomas hadn't left yet after both humiliations. But Alex was thankful as he realized he needed Thomas to stay in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to apologize again for the length of the chapters. When I write on computer sticky notes, it looks long. But then I copy the text and spread it out, iit looks super short. Anyway, thank you guys for the 2 kudos and like 66 hits as we speak!! Good to know at least someone is looking at this dumb fic


	5. Sarah (Alex) Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "someone tell zac efron to get off  
> because he'll never look like alexander  
> ooh, dang he so cute  
> okay, i'm sorry but it's true."  
> ~Thomas tbh  
> (sorry not sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is everyone tired of jamilton?  
> if so woopssssieee

The entire office was shrouded in a veil of awkwardness. Even that weird guy George who sat in the corner and didn't even work there felt it. Two employee breakdowns in hardly a week's time was unheard of. The staff tried their best to give both men their respective space. Debates were being postponed until all of the drama seceded. As he had had his moment earlier, Alexander wasn't as shaken still as Thomas; Thomas seemed on high alert and flinched at everything. It was a strange site, indeed. But he was was overall fine and honestly was waiting for a new event to happen, like say the sky falling. That was until Alex called him up. He wanted to talk about the situations that occurred. Great. Doesn't an awkward walk in the park sound lovely? Jefferson was respectfully nervous, as their current terms were shaky. After work, they left together and headed to the park not too far from their building. After a few moments of hesitation, it was Hamilton who spoke first.

"Okay, I'm sorry. _You_ probably never expected _me_ to say that." He got a small giggle from Thomas for that, "Charles was incriminating on the details of our trip to the bar and a few wrongs slipped. Then he took my phone. And you remember _how_ that fiasco went." Both stood silent, recalling Thomas's own break down.

"Guess it's _my_ turn. I want to apologize for what I said at the bar and for yelling at you after my melt down. For the bar, obviously those Irish car bombs had more of a kick than anticipated. So I was that drunk that talks about their life story and details every relationship they've ever had. For yelling, I was flustered and upset. I was mad at you because of those things that happened but I've realized I only have myself to blame." he sighed after finishing his sentence. He looked up from the ground to notice that fire that lit in Alexander's eye before he spoke. It was a nice flame, an auburn color you could say, that complimented the brown of his eyes well. "Look us. Two grown men being complete saps." Alex laughed, ending up with a smile. Thomas hadn't really realized how nice of a smile Hamilton had until now. It made him smirk in return.

\--

Next thing they knew, it was morning. Thomas was awoken by a hurried kiss to the forehead. From _who_ though? His vision was blurry but he could make out the form of a person, shorter than him, hightailing away. It was only 6:45 so he decided to not worry about it and fall back asleep. Which he did until about 7:30. Since there was no use in sleeping in more, he decided to get up eat some breakfast. But before he left for the kitchen, he found a hair tie lying on the floor. It was a clue to the form he saw and _oh dear god_.

\--

Before each debate, each side had an hour to prep. They were given the prompt and left to their whims to research evidence and details on the topic. Hamilton had somehow convinced everyone he and Thomas were okay enough to battle it out; _in a perfect world_. Thomas had only just begun to rebuild any stability he had and hoped he wouldn't be a wreck. 

"Five minutes~" John Laurens happened to be the "messenger" of the office. He always went around and relaid messages for everybody. He made it his duty to rally everyone together for a debate, giving them the amount of time left before it was to begin. Thomas sighed and stacked together his mess of notes, not beautifully scrawled by any means. It seemed only he could read his chicken scratch which was blessing and a curse. The last minute before the debate was used to do last minute set ups, like bringing in the opponents and getting everyone settled. Thomas was sat on the offense table, legs crossed as he scanned the room.

Alexander seemed off in his own world, probably imaging the win waiting to happen. The other staff seemed a bit antsy and concerned that one of the parties might break, _again_. Washington 

stared at his watch until the minute hand clicked past 9:15. As he stood, everyone cocked their heads in his direction.

"The issue on the table.. Hamilton's plan to lead to more business with more selling points and advertising. Jefferson, your stance?" There was a slight pause between the last word and the motion of George sitting down again. 

"While new selling points and ads sounds great on paper, think about it in reality. Most people click off radio ads or television commercials, especially those played often. They can't be bothered to sit through a wasted five or ten minutes because of those things. Not to mention, jingles never do anyone any good. Anyway. Yes, selling points would give us partial diversity in what our company produces but a line has to be drawn. Businesses with too many things going on are often avoided. The reasoning? Not appealing. Content can be found elsewhere, probably more well done too. Also, last time I checked, our statistics were actually great or must I run them by Eliza again?" The ending statement received a small roar from the crowd. Alex just rolled his eyes and looked to Washington for approval to speak. He began after a small head nod.

"You know Eliza's human right? And sitting right out there?" Washington cocked a fuzzy brow at the irrelevance. 

"Meaning she could have made an error at any point. I highly doubt it due to her intelligence but accidents happen. Anyway.." Alexander rattled off for what felt like hours. He had outspoken every argument Thomas presented and had better backing evidence. Everyone left having learned some new things after that debate. Thomas had stormed off afterwards.

He sat on the steps of the stairs that lead down to the front entrance. He released a deep sigh. Undermined and overruled once again. He again wondered what was the point anymore. He had used to have pride, a great deal of it, but it had been stripped away by Hamilton. He had taken it and thrown it aside lately.

Hamilton.

Jefferson couldn't believe that Alexander of all people was crossing his mind. He was basically killing him inside. He held no stability in his mind and of his emotions. He barely had any self-confidence left. Andd. He felt a weird tingling in his heart when ever his mind hit this spot.

Remember the part where I said Thomas flinched at everything? Yup, the door leading to the stairs caught him this time. And who walked through? Hamilton, of course.

As dumb as it sounded, Thomas somewhat believed it was destiny. Truly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stand corrected. this is the longest chapter and if not the trashiest. probably bc I had to write over two days. anyway I'm excited for the next chapter. and I promise no more in the heights too references. maybe


	6. Lithium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is out of town and Jefferson is (not) okay. also Jemmy Jam Mads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow im actually listening to the soundtrack during this night of writing; irrelevant but funny

Because, once again, Hamilton won the last debate, he was the delegate to sister companies to pitch his ideas. The building was a hell of a lot quieter without him but everyone had a ting of loneliness, too. He couldn't show it, but Jefferson was internally _panicking_.

Not necessarily because of Hamilton, but just the mess of things lately. Alex just happened to be mixed into the tornado. But he somehow kept it concealed to everyone; _besides_ James Madison. His best friend could stare directly into his soul. Thomas always flinched when Jemmy stared for a moment and could tell what he was thinking. 

So during their day off, the two friends spent the day making sure Thomas wasn't going to break down again or have a panic attack. He almost made it the whole day. _Almost_. 

"Thomas, get up." Madison reached his foot over, shoving the man that laid face down on the couch. Thomas groaned and pulled the blanket on his back over his head.

"At least hand me the controller." The Xbox controller when flying in James's direction. 

"I could hear you, you know. I don't care how loud you play this movie; all I could hear was sniffles." Another groan. I mean, you already have to increase the volume for _The Princess Bride_ , but it was louder than necessary because Thomas lost it.

"Also, it's your favorite-"

"Second favorite."

" _Second_ favorite movie and you only looked up once." 

"Every time I tell myself that I won't crack, I do. And it's not that I'm sad.. Just lonely. Longing for someone not present."

"Uh huh." Madison listened as he walked to make a cup of hot chocolate.

"It doesn't help that I keep thinking of _him_. I... _miss_ him." Thomas cut his sentence off there and looked up to seem James who sat on the counter, facing the microwave. 

"Face it; you like him."

"Do not."

"Do to. The way you look over at him is _admiring_. Anyway, go fix your hair; it's sticking up everywhere."

Thomas rolled his eyes and got up. He strolled to the bathroom to see his hair in the mirror. A handful of ringlets laid against his forehead, others sticking up in the back. He studied himself in the mirror until he saw a sudden snap behind his eyes. His stability cracked once again and in a split second, there was a crash and a sharp pain. 

"Thomas!" James yelled, running to the bathroom and nearly dropping his mug as he slid it on the counter. Thomas sat bawling, broken glass on the counter, and his fist bleeding and shard filled. This was bad.

\---

Madison patched up the wounded hand very carefully. It was hard though as Thomas was still shaking furiously.

"Not a word. I already know; I saw it in your eyes." He saw the shards of stability scattered everywhere in Thomas's mind. The broken mirror wasn't pertaining to Hamilton, but rather blame for himself. 

To try to loosen the mood, James turned off the bright lights and lit candles, yes the ones from Thomas's special cabinet (that he totally didn't have.) He sat next to Thomas, who was snuggled up in his favorite magenta blanket, and chose what they'd watch next of Netflix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow only took me like an hour. anyway, was this one too sad?? and too irrelevant to the song?? probably. but i personally like it. also yes it hurts me to hurt my baby like this


	7. Cecilia (Alexander)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas just wants Alex home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next 3 chapters are pretty gay in my mind

The next day, Thomas returned to work, even though his hand was still bandaged. Both James and him lied about how he hurt it, of course. No need for more of a stir.

It wasn't until Wednesday that there was news of Hamilton coming back. He would arrive the afternoon of the next day. Everyone was happy, having missed him, especially Thomas's poor, fragile heart. 

It broke slightly at any mention of Alexander and even more when thinking about him. His confidence was still shaken and scattered everywhere. He just wanted him to come home and be in his presence. 

He constantly worried Alex had found someone to love while gone. It sounded proposterous that he would in such a short amount of time. But it was a small worry in his mind.

On Thursday, Thomas sat out on the stairs during his break. He wasn't in the mood to make it a lunch break. He flinched at the front entrance door being opened but still looked down the stairwell anyway. He saw a familiar form and instantly stood up. 

 _Hamilton_. Thomas's heart fluttered as he walked up the stairs. Sporting his signature smile, they stared into each other's eyes quickly. They went to embrace but instead smashed lips.

Neither complained but rather leaned in more. Alex wrapped his arms around Thomas's neck, Thomas holding his cheeks. Their lips released and leaned their foreheads together. 

_He loves me again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this one wasn't that gay. and wasn't very well written. ill try harder;; also you should go read Pardon My French. theres only one chaoter but I'm getting there


	8. Hey There Delilah (Thomas)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooo Alex left again. but its okay because they skype

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one supposed be the most gay. maybe

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked, fumbling with his tie. 

"Yes, babe. You look wonderful." Alexander replied, trying to keep himself from dozing off.

It had been a month since they had started secretly dating. Alex was out of town, _again_ , for work. But they always Skyped when he was away so at least they saw each other's faces. 

Thomas was getting ready for a company party and just happened to be on call with his boyfriend. He honestly didn't want to go but Alex convinced him otherwise. 

"How's New York? It feels like I've been gone for years." Hamilton giggled, making Thomas laugh along.

"Same as you left it. You've only been gone a _week_ , dear." 

" _Only_. I'm a thousand miles away and I miss the city. Can you blame me?"

"Not at all. How do I look?"

"More beautiful and brighter than Time Square itself." Alex complimented, sincerely meaning. Maybe a little better if there wasn't a bandage on one hand but couldn't help that.

Thomas flicked his eyes over to the clock. He swallowed hard and turned back to his laptop.

"I have to go soon.."

"Aww. But I had so much more to talk about."

"Tell me when you get back. "

"Fine, then I'll just have to leave right now, now don't I?" Alex half-ass joked. He knew there weren't any buses running at that time and he was too far out of town for a taxi, leaving only walking as an option.

"You may die half-way through."

"Rude."

" _Love youu_ ~" Thomas replied playfully.

"Love you, too. Ass. Don't miss me too much!" They blew each other a kiss and Thomas clicked end call.

Alex couldn't believe what that man did to him and his heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was this gay enough


	9. Everybody Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again with the rumors!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not very close to the song but idc. it's a filler tbh

What did Alex do? Walk all the way home. Might as well title this "I Would Walk (500 Miles)" Just kidding. But he did walk it. Yes, he did take the bus for part of the trip but walked the rest. Not like the other company needed his help anymore anyway. Jefferson sat at his small window nook, nose deep into a book. he noticed someone familiar walk by. At first, he paid no mind until there was a knock at his door. He got up to answer it and peeked through the peephole. He then ripped the door open.

"Alexander!" He yelped, hugging his boyfriend.

"Don't tell me. You walked all night?"

"Uh-huh." Alex nodded.

"I'm ecstatic that you're home but you should go talk a shower. I'd rather my house not smell like traveling 1,000 miles, thank you very much." Hamilton rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out, while Thomas smirked. They shared a quick peck and Alex trotted off.

\---

What do rumors do? Grow. Some how, most likely by a deal with the Devil, someone heard from someone who heard from their cousin's ex-boyfriend that they had seen Alexander walkng to Thomas's. Therefore, the rumor spread throughout the office.

"Thomas!" Alex slammed the door open.

"Alexander. Lower your tone. The entire building can hear you. And shut the door please." Alex shut the door and pulled out a chair, becoming a ball and grumbling.

"Yes, dear?" Thomas asked softly, cocking an eyebrow.

"Someone caught word and is spreading rumor about when I walked home to your house. They claim they saw us kissed and now suspect our relationship. " Hamilton growled under his breath.

"Well, word catches fast as everyone in this building talks and chit chats. You know this happens all the time. Starts with a whisper and escalates. To wonder if these people have lives." Jefferson huffed.

"Lunch?" was blurted.

"On you?"

"You paid last time, so yes."

"Gladly." Both men stood up from their seats, Thomas almost tripping as his swivel chair hit him. They strode out of the office and to the stairwell. At this point, they didn't care if everyone saw. They shared a hug smooch, almost to where it hurt.

But it was okay because it was their prescription.

Let everybody talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am one of those that is questionable about having a life. and yes i do think im funny;; anyway, im excited for my ideas of chapters to come  
> two more things:  
> no clue how alex walked it; guess it takes stamina to constantly fight everyone  
> and thomas is the only one in the office with a spinny chair bc i can


	10. Animal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're having a bit of a rough time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are you happy im to 10 chapters and havent given up. probably because i'm putting too much into (i have a folder of songs + lyrics i want to use sooo)

_Another_ fight. 

That's to be expected right? Especially between these two? Well, everyone worried either way. It had only been a month ago that they found out about Alexander and Thomas dating but lately it seemed to be more fighting than love. Even Burr, king of neutrality and no beliefs, flinched as objects were slammed and there was yelling.

Nope, it didn't just stay at home. Most people would fight and then go to work, completely composed. This turned out as the exact opposite. 

\---

Another day, another argument.

This one happened to be at home. As the bickering progressed, Thomas had more of an urge to run and hide. They were biting at each other's hearts. This was toxic and slowly killing them both. They once believed they were happy but weren't, obviously. 

Thomas was always afraid. In general and of breaking his composure. Alexander had never been satisfied, by anything in all honesty. They fought until they reached a break where they could run and hide. Jefferson took the bathroom, Hamilton the window nook. 

\---

It took them 4 hours to be able to talk civilly. They had realized it and met in the middle, which was the middle of the living room.

All of the world was quiet for a moment.

"Look at the mess we've created..." Thomas mumbled. 

"We just can't seem to understand how to make this right.." Alex replied.

"Seems neither of us are sleeping tonight.."

"Suppose not."

Unison sighs.

"So, what are you waiting for? What'll it be? Work this out or say goodbye to my heart tonight?"

The chemicals were still kicking and they both felt it.

"I guess I have to say goodbye..." Alexander replied, so low under his breath it was hardly audible. 

"Then, goodbye."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short but kinda cliffhanger hehe c:


	11. Need You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're a little drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this may be short oops

"Bartender, another shot of Stroh rum, please. On my tab.." Thomas called weakly. He sat at the very end of the bar top, secluding himself. It had been two weeks since he broke up with Alexander and was a wreck, as before. When the bartender filled his request, Thomas downed the shot in two seconds and returned to laying his head on his arms.

Alexander seemed to be the only thing that kept him together. Except, maybe for alcohol. Oh, who am I kidding? That made him more a mess. 

\---

Alexander felt the same. Alcohol only helped in the moment, but hardly because it made you think harder. But he still ordered another Crown Royal whiskey to numb himself. He looked up at the clock, noticing the time. 

Almost quarter past one.

This meant they had been out thinking in their heads for a few hours each now. 

At this point, Thomas was too hit by the alcohol and decided to pay, then scatter. But, he only made it outside. He had a sudden urge to call someone. _Someone_. He began shaking furiously as he scrolled in his contacts to find him. He hit the call button.

\---

Alexander's phone began buzzing in his pocket, so he pulled it out. Noticing the name, he gulped. He strolled to the quietest corner of the bar to answer it.

"Hello?"

"H-hey.. I-I know it's late and.. I-I shouldn't be calling you but.. I-I need you desperately.."

"Me too. Where are you?"

"Star Spangled."

"Meet you in five."

Alex then hung up.

\---

Right on time. 

They met in the middle of the road, as it was deserted. They instantly stared into each other's eyes, as always, and saw a spark. They leaned closer and touched foreheads. 

It may have been cold and snowy but they didn't care as they had had each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not as great as anticipated sorry;; i'm trying (tho i'm tired) also sorry i ""n arrate"" its fun


	12. Just a Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're working on it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried

They had been taking it slow. They were fixing everything that needed to be fixed and working out any bumps. It was surprising they had opened up their shells so quickly again to each other but still reclused to everybody else. But it was hard to hold back when they were alone together. They knew when to not cross the line, thankfully. Neither wanted to push it too far.

\---

"Thank you again for dinner." Thomas purred, pecking Alex on the cheek.

"My pleasure~" Hamilton replied.

"Do you want to walk to the pier?"

"Pier? S-sure.." It wasn't that Alex was scared of water; just weary of it. He had developed a fear of drowning and storms after a disastrous hurricane when he was 17. It wrecked his hometown and devastated everyone on the island. Thankfully, New York rarely got hurricanes, and if it did, they had hit before arriving. Jefferson looked over, matching eyes with him to make sure he'd be alright. Alexander's caramel eyes shone yes.

So they walked to the pier, hand in hand. They came to the end of the dock, which was deserted, and sat down. Neither said a word and rather took time to enjoy each other's presence. They admired the moonlight reflecting on the water.

\---

They sat for about an hour until their internal clocks rang that it was time to go. They looked to each other, mutually understanding the situation, and helped each other up. All they both wanted at that moment was a kiss. A goodnight kiss. Which they shared soon after. It was kind of cliche to kiss under moonlight but they didn't care. They each had always wanted one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for two songs by the same artists;; but it's gonna happen again oops  
> also apologizing for the length of this chapter


	13. The Pantaloon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex thinks a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> v alex-centered, this one. lo siento

Pantaloon. The word meant many things; in normal context, it was related to a type of bloomers. In our case, it referred to a deserter or someone abandoning something. For example, Alexander's grandfather, who died when he was nine, was a Pantaloon of his family's lineage. They all had one profession but he rebelled. Hamilton's father was a Pantaloon of the family. He left when Alex was 10 years old. He feared he'd end up being a Pantaloon too.

\---

Even on the cusp of 31, he didn't trust anyone who was a Pantaloon. Most went mad, like his grandfather, and abandoned most things in life, which made him a bit weary.

"Whatcha making?" He asked, looking up from his work, glasses resting nicely on his nose.

"My specialty~" His darling Thomas replied.

Alex knew what that meant; macaroni and cheese. He shrugged it off and continued to work. But one thought lingered.

Recently, he had been fighting the fact that his birthday was in less than a month. 31. Most were already married by then. He knew he should get himself settled in at least the next year. And he knew who he wanted, but he constantly debated it in his mind. He collapsed the thought eventually and finished his work, just in time for dinner.

\---

Alexander was used to having frozen bones. Whether it was Jefferson stealing all of the covers or waking up home alone. This morning, though, he woke up entangled with another body and it was quite warm. Usually, it felt that he was kept together, bones and all, by any nightmares or frights the night before. But today, there was the warmth which kept him whole and stuck like glue. Knowing he needed to get up, he slowly and carefully pulled himself away.

It was early and he was dead tired, hurt by the fact that his sleep schedule was always off or nonexistent. He always kept a pile of clothes at Thomas's in case of nights like that, where he stayed over after they were too tired to stay awake. Alex picked up his favorite sweater from the pile, unhappy at the moth bitten hole in it, and slipped it on.

He stretched on his way to the living room and sat in his favorite chair to check his laptop. His chair was like his own little island; secluded while everyone else took to another chair or the sofa. He attempted to fix his mop of hair but gave up. He then stared out of the window, realizing it was sunrise. He had seen many mornings like this, where it felt that the sun and moon were fighting off the other, with the sun eventually winning. He scrolled through everything and double checked his documents from last night.

And again, the one settlement thought resurfaced.

And once again, he was considered following the urge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very heavily based on the song if you couldn't tell  
> even tho it was kinda short, im pretty proud  
> also now i can start executing my other chapters ideas   
> (awesome! wow!)


	14. Slide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They start thinking about marriage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is everyone going to hate this and other chapters because they'll probably sound cliche?

"Come on! Tell me!" Alexander giggled.  
"No! It's sappy.." Thomas blushed.  
"Come on!"  
"Fine! I've always wanted to feel special or highly-appreciated.." Thomas finally said and covered his face, after blushing.  
"That's not sappy; Everyone wants to feel that way."  
"I know, but it's magnified to me. So, what's your rating?"  
"I'll let it slide."  
During their talks, they often rated whether each other's contributions were good enough. It was a two way system, slide or deny. It was weird but worked, somehow.  
"What have you got, stud?" Thomas joked.  
"Honestly, I don't think I'll ever know what it means to be a man." He already noticed and eye roll, "Hey. Shut your eyes up. Anyway, I mean like the stuff that everyone considers experiences that make someone a 'real man'."  
"Slide."  
"Really?"  
"You've convinced me."  
\---  
They talked and joked until they passed out in each other's embrace. Alexander, of course, woke up first. He was always happy to wake up where Thomas was, even though he never expressed it.  
This morning, he felt particularly generous so he decided to make breakfast. Just a simple meal of eggs, sausage, and toast; nothing fancy. Just a small treat. Thomas finally woke up when it was almost ready.  
"How you get up at the asscrack of dawn amazes me." When he noticed the food, he was pleasantly surprised.  
"Breakfast? By King Alexander himself. Makes me feel like a married man on Valentine's." He joked.  
"We could get married, you know. And run away." Alex joked right back as they started to embrace.  
"Uh-huh."  
"And I could do anything you've ever dreamed to be done."  
"Uh-huh." Thomas repeated, wrapping his arms around Hamilton's small frame.  
"We could hug like this and I'd tell you are beautiful, then continue to listen to your feelings." As Jefferson started actually realizing this is something he would be interested in, he kissed the top of the shorter man's head.  
"Our food is getting cold, but do tell more."  
They both giggled.  
But in actuality, they were now slightly considering it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too cheesy??


	15. I Think I Wanna Marry You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone proposes *wink wink* (winks that are actually blinks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too cheesy?

Thomas had been noticing small hints that Alexander was concealing something. Earlier in the week, he had asked for his ring size. It was an out of the blue question that seemed harmless but a little suspicious. Not mention he had nosily glimpsed at Alex's computer at one point and noticed a search about chapels, right before Alex shut the lid. Thomas had utterly forgotten their conversation on Saturday morning which it why the two things didn’t make sense to him.  
\---  
Sometimes, Hamilton was a good or terrible liar; it depended on the situation. This time, it was on the fence. He was trying hard to keep his plan hidden.   
He was planning to propose to Thomas on their next visit to dinner. He knew of a small chapel that wasn't very far from the restaurant. He kept debating whether, if things worked out, to invite people or keep the legal wedding a secret for a bit. It was a lot, even for his brilliant mind. Granted, everything would have to work out for the latter parts of his plan to work.  
\---  
Dinner out on Friday had come. Great food, nice service. Excellent company, obviously. The restaurant had a small outside seating area surrounding a fire pit. The pair decided to sit there for a few minutes to relax and warm up.  
"It's a beautiful night." Alex decided to spark conversation.  
"Agreed."  
"Nice night and ample time to do something dumb."  
"Depending on what you have in mind."  
"You know, a few shots of patron. A.. Wedding.." The last part was mumbled.   
"Pardon?" The word flicked off Thomas's tongue, with lots of Southern drawl.  
"I'm not quite sure how to say this but.." Alexander trailed off and started sliding out of his chair. Jefferson watched him, with an eyebrow cocked.  
"I think I wanna marry you.. So would you say I do?"  
As Thomas turned while getting up, he noticed Alex on one knee. He pulled a small box from his pocket and people watching gasped. Thomas joined them as Alexander opened the box.  
"Yes!" Jefferson replied, without much thought. They embraced after Hamilton stood up, and they kissed while everyone clapped.  
Tears of joy streamed down their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too cheesy


	16. Mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a wheel of provolone cheese

It took them nearly a year to gather enough money for the wedding, reception included. Everybody was ecstatic for them, especially when the wedding finally came around. But during the time it took, there was a lot of anxiety and small panic attacks. Thankfully, those kinks were worked out.  
For the wedding, each fiancé had their own best man. James was Thomas's as they had been through a lot together and it would be a way to repay him. John was Alex's best man. They were the bests of friends and John would glare at him for at least a year if he wasn't a groomsmen. It was a close call between him and Washington, but Washington was more than happy to bring Alex down the aisle. George was like a father to him, especially since his father had left at a young age.   
The wedding guests was pretty much everyone from the office, even weird Georgie. The chapel was beautifully decorated, as well as the area of the reception, with flowers and fairy lights. It wasn't much but was a nice touch. The colors were light blue and light purple, almost pastel, as they couldn't decide which to go with. Both were cool colors that complimented the theme well.   
The wedding itself was sentimental. Each party had written their own vows and were brilliant worded. Thomas talked about how Alexander kept him in check and promised to be the best 'wife'. Alexander wrote about how even though they didn't always agree, they eventually worked it out and promised to keep them both stable. Everyone had at least one tear in their eye. The "I Do's" sealed their fate and everybody cheered. It was like one giant family.   
\---  
During the reception, it took a few minutes to get settled in their articulated places. Once everyone was good, it was Angelica who stood to speak first. She planted herself firmly and lightly tapped her fork against the rim of her glass.  
"I'd like to propose a toast! To the groom!" Cheers, "To the other groom!" Another roar, " To the company!" Applause. "To the union on this day! May you both be satisfied!" Smiles filled the room. That last part Angelica truly hoped for. As she and Alexander were a match of wits and were so similar, it was scary. He was like a brother and she knew they both never seemed satisfied. But she hoped he'd at least have long, temporary satisfaction  
She took her seat and Thomas stood up.   
"I have prepared a small speech. Don't worry, I'll try to keep it short and sweet. Alexander, my dear, you are my mirror. You reflect parts of me and I love that. You are the reason I've been able to change and better myself. You are my other half, as cliché as it sounds. I'd hate to lose you as you make me whole. Yesterday is history and tomorrow holds mystery but I'm glad I have you to face through the darkness with. My heart is now full with you by my side and I love you more than the world."   
They shared a long kiss when he sat down. Then John, James, and Washington shared their own small speeches.   
By the end of the night, everyone was touched and very glad to have been a part of the special event. The now married couple shared one more small dance before getting in the taxi they hauled.  
They were very glad to finally be a unit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at the beginning of writing i almost cried because i had flash backs of "lilac wedding" (a super dumb story i wrote last year)


	17. Margarita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a little girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one isn't based on a song but is rather a filler; ish

It took two years. Two years of talk of children for there to be actual consideration. The marriage itself was mostly smooth. Thank god. Adoption seemed to be the only option for them, really. Vitro was possible but somehow felt less authentic. It was weird logic but made sense to them.

"Alexander. Come here." Thomas cooed, looking up from his laptop.

"What?"

"Look at this little girl. Isn't she beautiful?" It was a picture of a little girl; she was around three months old and had a full head of tight curls, her eyes shone nicely.

"I admit, she is pretty cute. But.."

"Oh dear another lecture.."

"We don't have the time and space. We're constantly busy with work and we only have one bedroom-"

"Two."

"Two. But the spare is cluttered, remember?" Thomas grumbled and rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know. I'd love to have a little girl running around and growing up under our protection. But.." They both sighed. Ten they went back to their activities. Jefferson secretly bookmarked the page just in case.

\---

For three weeks straight, they both had dreams about the little girl. Dark circles plagued both of their eyes. They continued until they gave up.

"Okay. Grab your coat, we're going to see her." Alexander said out of the blue one night.

" _Yesss_ ~~" Thomas air pumped. They walked all the way to the orphanage which happened to be 7 blocks down. It felt a bit awkward to do it under such short notice but they still did it. The receptionist was a little startled when they walked in. They stated their 'case' and were told to wait a few minutes until they could be brought in.

"Hamilton?" A woman called when it was time. They followed her through a door into a carpeted during, littered with toys. There on the floor sat the beautiful baby girl. She wasn't quite old enough to sit up but she tried or just laid on her belly. The Hamiltons' hearts instantly melted. They sat crisscross on the floor beside her and watched her play. Alexander was the one who mostly talked to the woman while Thomas played along with the baby. At one point, Alex looked over and his heart melted again as we watched how soft and gentle Thomas was being.

They talked it over when they got home and decided to check if anyone had put in papers to adopt her; they happened to be the first ones. They filled out every form and cried when they were approved. It was a cause for celebration. They wouldn't be able to bring her home for a few more weeks but that was enough time to do some spring cleaning. They cleaned the spare room in the matter of a week and set it up as the baby's room.

\---

Margarita. It was a bit of an odd name and was the name of a beverage but it sounded elegant. It worked perfectly with how they imagined her future. If anything, they could fall back on just calling her Peggy. It was a cute nickname, thankfully.

The middle name they chose was Mila. It meant "dear" or "pleasant" and they believed she would be their darling little girl. It was also a cute name.

\---

The night they brought Peggy home, they both cried for hours. Never seen a grown man cry, not to mention two? Well that night was absolute water works. It confused the baby girl at first but she just giggled, making them laugh along. They watched her carefully, like most new parents, and made sure she was safe. By the end of the night, the Hamiltons were a sleeping cuddle pile. Everything was nearly perfect at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone was wondering why there wasn't peggy yet,
> 
> this is why; i love peggy so i thought she'd be cute as a sweet, adopted daughter  
> so happy for the next chapter


	18. Johnny (Alex) Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex stays home as he's kind of in a rut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was super excited for this chapter because what i originally imagined fit the song perfectly.
> 
> the end result isn't as great and weird worded but i tried

He didn't tell him he wasn't going to work that day. He just didn't feel in the mood to. As much as it hurt to lie, he still did it. Thomas just thought Alexander was finally sleeping in for a few hours. It was a rare occurrence but he didn't think to question it. He was up and gone by time Alex woke up again. A screaming baby was not a pleasant sound in the morning but he still dealt with it. He gave her her morning bottle and then sat on the floor beside her. His phone was sat behind him, so he could access it but not be distracted or get baby fingers on it.

It took half an hour for Washington to text him.

W: / _ **Is everything alright?**_ /

A: / _ **Yes.**_ /

A: / _ **Just one of those days.**_ /

**…**

W: / _ **I understand. Well, you definitely have enough vacation days racked up. Just, please, give me a warning the next time you want to put in a free day? It would be greatly appreciated.**_ /

A: / _ **Yes, sir.**_ /

W: / **_Thank you. Now relax for god's sake. You do enough overtime to win a medal._** /

A: / _ **Will do, sir. Thank you.**_ /

W: / ** _You're welcome._** /

…

Alex sighed as he put his phone back down. Peggy was staring at him and giggled when he shed a smile at her. She then got distracted by her toys again. "Oh, Peggy. My sweet girl. You are my pride and joy, you know?" This earned another giggle. He thought back to the joke George made. He was thinking if he truly deserved a medal, having never won a prize before. Unless Peggy counted. And Thomas. They were his prizes. He then realized how much he had fallen in love with his little girl in such a short time. They weren't biologically related but that didn't matter because DNA doesn't define a family. At 2:00, he got up and got little Peggy ready for her afternoon nap, Once he got her settled, he decided he needed a nap himself, even though he had just been watching the baby for a few hours.

\---

On the other hand, Thomas was ready for a nap himself. He was a little cranky, as Burr described to their co-workers, and a bit on edge. He hadn't heard his loud-mouth, obnoxious husband come in at any time. At all as matter of fact. Like he stated in his vows, Alex kept him in line. Not just in his upset emotions but also his anger. One wrong move could land you a chance of being snapped at by Thomas on days like these. Not to mention, he was mad at himself for not questioning Alexander sleeping in. Oh well. He'd just have to deal with the feelings until he got home.

\---

When Hamilton woke up again, he was in one of those weird moods where he questioned everything. He questioned himself, a lot, and reality as well. Of course, he didn't question when Peggy woke up and was ready for a snack. Just everything else. This continued for another hour and a half until Thomas got home. He had caught the whiff on an off-set mood. Peggy was sat playing with her toys once more and the door to the master bedroom was closed, most likely locked.

"Alexander?" Alex grunted in response.

"I've been home for five minutes and I can already tell your aura is off. Now, don't know if you'll take these into consideration but.."

He slipped a small strip of paper under the door. The pressure against the door lifted as Alex shifted around to read it.

It read as follows:

**_I know something is probably wrong, I don't know what, but I hope this helps. I don't claim to know what your mind is like and what lurks behind your eyes. But I want to let you know you are my pride and joy. Peggy and you both. Everyone knows you're qualified to fix a chair and love me. So I hope you get over what's plaguing you because we all need you. Don't forget I carry your name and what shame follows it. We can work this out. ~Love T <3_**

Alexander hated to admit it but he was kind of in a ditch. But this note brought him out of it, at least temporarily. He unlocked the door and hugged his oh so beautiful husband. He need Thomas and Peggy just as much as everyone needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eh?
> 
> eh?
> 
> nah?
> 
> yeah
> 
> anyway, just one chapter tonight. sorry! I'm tired and mad at myself for wasting a few hours but just laying there. I'll try to write tomorrow while i'm home alone tho


	19. Iris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time and there's a surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woot i wrote a chapter  
> let's hope for another

"Alexander.. Are you sure?"  
"Thomas, darling, I am sure."  
Thomas was just casually freaking out over the company party, no big deal.  
About a month previously, he had put in to work from home and it was granted. He wanted to spend more time at home and with Peggy but still do work. The problem was that nobody in the office knew about Peggy. The parents had /somehow/ kept her secret for about six months now.   
That this point in time Jefferson was mildly panicking about finally making an appearance, especially with dear Margarita. He wasn't sure how everyone'd take it.  
"I don't want the world to see me like this.." referring to his lengthened stubble and dark circles under his eyes. "They wouldn't understand."  
"Babe, it's fine. Honestly, everyone would hate to miss you tonight."  
"You haven't told them about Peggs yet, right?"  
"It's still under lock and key."  
Thomas took a deep breath and reassured himself that it would be fine. The couple shared one more kiss before beginning to get ready.  
\---  
When they arrived, Alex exited the taxi first. They had discussed that he would make an entrance then introduce Thomas and Peggy in. They had decided on small cues for Jefferson to walk in and surprise everyone.   
Hamilton, of course, had a wave of excited people crowding him as he walked in. There were many hugs and lots of laughs.   
"Everybody, Thomas and I have someone we'd like you to meet.." He announced as everyone settled themselves.  
The cue. Thomas had been waiting for a few minutes, nervously fidgeting. But his nervousness disappeared as he strode in.  
Everybody gasped at the sight of the infant. Thomas and Alex were both smiling wide as Peggy was handed off. Everyone took a turn holding her, some playing, others staring marveled. Washington was the last to have a look at the little girl. He may not have been related to her or Alex himself, but he felt this sweetheart was his granddaughter almost.  
Peggy didn't mind the burly man holding her and latched herself on, fiddling with his buttons. Alex shot a nervous smile his direction but earned a proud smile in return.  
The entire time, Peggy was the highlight and was being very socialized. From aunt Angelica lecturing her on the power of women, to uncles Herc, Laf, and John being so drunk, they cried because she was so cute. It was a god night, despite the parents of the eleven-month old having bled inside as it felt they hadn't had a single moment with their child. It was a struggle but made them more alive, in retrospect. Everything is meant to be broken, even the frailest of hearts.  
At the end of the night, everyone murmured or yawned their goodbyes and hailed taxis to go home. Finally, the couple had time with Peggy… Or not. She had slept through the taxi ride and the trip into her crib. At least the Hamiltons had each other.


	20. Can't Help Falling in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the word's of bo burnham,  
> "oo this is gonna be sad"

July 11th.  
That's when tragedy occurred.   
The Hamilton's had been out, on a pleasant stroll, when it happened.  
Alexander was the further ahead and was the one impacted.   
A car, driving over the speed limit, sped through the road, not noticing Alex, and continued on. There was blood. So much blood.   
He was immediately rushed to the nearest hospital, giving Thomas a panic attack on the ride over. The damage was beyond compare.  
Many broken bones, some severed nerves. A little bit of brain trauma. His diaphragm was nearly busted. It seemed like things that couldn't be recovered from.   
He was hooked up to oxygen and it kept him alive through the night, thankfully. But, seeing him hurt. To the point of heartbreak.   
\---  
Thomas and Peggy sat by his side the entire time he was there, both had tear stained cheeks from seemingly endless crying. When there felt to be a shifted in Alexander's breath, Thomas dreaded the worst fear of his. But, he had an idea to work through it.  
"Wise men say… only fools rush in.." he began, beckoning Alexander to turn his head weakly towards the voice.  
"But.. I can't help.. Falling in love with.. You.."  
At this moment, Peggy was recording so she could remember these moments forever.  
Thomas sang softly through the whole song, clutching Alexander's hand as he did.  
"For I.. Can't help.. Falling in love with.. You.." He finished, tears streaming down his already puffy cheeks.  
"As.. You.. Wish…" Was all Alex managed. Then he was out like a light. Thomas began to sob, Peggy crying as well, not believing she had caught these final moments on video but she had.  
July 12th. The date of Alexander's death. Margarita's birthday.  
Alex was only 49. Peggy turned 15.  
They were ushered away and sent home. They held each other and mourned all night.  
They had lost him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i admit im crying a little after that last sentence


	21. Wonderwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is everyone still wrecked from the last chapter

The next day, they both seemed different.

First off, Thomas had slept with his glasses on, a rare occurrence. He had noticed that Peggy wasn't her peppy self and that it was as though her beautiful flame in her heart, just like Alexander had, was out. He wanted to hug her some more and tell her it would be alright, but he didn't want to invade on her privacy.

She was sat, blanket around her shoulders, staring at the floor. Her mind was distant and trying to grasp what had happened. She wasn't even broken from her trance when Thomas got up to make breakfast. The only words spoken a few minutes later were telling her that food was ready.

Neither ate much; losing a loved one was quite an appetite-killer. They decided to save the food for later and took their places on the couch again. The afternoon was pretty silent.

Shortly after she had fallen asleep, Thomas picked up Peggy and set her in her bed. He then placed a folded piece of paper on her nightstand for her to read later. He, as we already know, was notorious for writing down what felt like speeches into note form when he got a lump in this throat and couldn't express his feelings.

As Peggy would soon find out, it read:

**_My darling, I have so many things I want to say to you._ **

**_I know we've just entered a rough patch. But I need you to be strong, even all of the roads seem winding and the lights blinding. You'll be my savior if you tough this out and give me the courage to, also. You are my wonderwall and I know you're destined for greatness. Just stick with me and give your old man a little shove here and there, alright?_ **

**_~Love, your dear old dad._ **

She had read over it a few times when she woke up and hugged him when she left her room.

They held each other, knowing they needed the support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> youre welcome


	22. Drops of Jupiter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy's bday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> peggy is my baby

Margarita had decided to go to Michigan with some of her friends for spring break, partly for extra credit. They were Detroit and if they wrote a paper on its' history, they would get some extra credit for their history class. Challenge accepted.  
Thomas, of course, worried greatly. His sweet little girl was a few states away and not really driving distance. But thankfully, she called him every night which took some of his nerves off.  
But he began to worry a little bit more towards the end. He wasn't sure when she was coming home and it was the beginning of April. By the 13th, he was homesick for her. He was reluctant when Angelica said she was taking him somewhere. He was blindfolded and walked into a room that felt empty.  
There was an aura that was familiar to him. Like someone had come back into the atmosphere. Everything was dark. Until the blindfold was lifted.  
When he noticed who lifted it, he smiled wide. It was Peggy.  
"Peggy!!" Thomas yelled, hugging her and spinning.  
"Daddy!" She giggled.  
No matter the amount of presents he received, that surprise was the greatest of them all.  
"How was your trip?" He asked, looking her over, "What did you do to your knee?"  
Her knee was scraped up and scabbed over. It didn't look too bad but would probably scar.  
"Tripped."  
"Oh, my clumsy girl."  
She giggled. Thomas then longingly looked at her. Parts of her dark hair had gotten lighter, nearly blond, from being in the sun. It was as if she had drops of Jupiter in her hair.  
"Did it blow your mind? Sweep you off your feet?"  
"It was alright. Wish that we made it to Lansing though.." She sighed.  
"I've been to both, but a long time ago. Sorry. I'm lame and a plain ol'Jane." Jefferson sighed.  
"Cheer up. It's your birthday, dad." She wrapped her arms around him, making him smile a bit.  
\---  
It was a good birthday. I mean, he had turned 50 but it was okay. He was just glad to have Peggy back. He still needed her like a crutch. In three months, it would be a year since Alex passed away. Things still reminded him of his late love. Like "Can't Help Falling in Love" always made him cry. Certain small things also reminded him, like when Peggy was passionate about a topic or just hair ties left everywhere. They didn't push him to tears but made him a little sad.  
But at least he had Peggy.  
Oh, did he wish he didn't feel he was such a burden. He couldn't help it. She was his pillar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy is a concerned papi


	23. Rosa (Margarita) Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prom yo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the song rosa dear  
> I'm sorry

"Peggy. Please stop spinning on the chair. You'll either trip me or get yourself sick." Thomas warned, trying to walk past her without bumping his bad hip into something.  
"Fineee." She sighed, slowing herself. She then realized she was a little dizzy.   
"Come put your dress on so I can finish hemming it."  
It was Peggy's junior prom. She was excited, as always. Her dress was a deep yellow, ending just above the knees. It was a little poofy in the skirt and there was a layer of lace as the under bottom, at the end of the sleeves, and around the collar. Thomas had insisted her shoes be wedges just so she would have to worry about a broken heel.  
She gladly put it on, coming back to the living room. Thomas already had his glasses on and was threading his needle. He only had a small part in the back to finish hemming and he was done. He finished and told her he'd start her hair soon.  
Throughout the years, he had picked up these skills since he had a little girl. Not to mention, he was pretty maternal, while Alexander was more paternal.   
Oh Alex. He still missed him greatly even though it had been almost two years. He knew he'd of been proud of Peggy and her accomplishments. He was sure proud of her.  
"Daddy." Margarita called, breaking his trance. She was sat on the ottoman in front of the couch and had her shoes beside it. He took his seat and began to work on her hair.   
He had made sure she at least had a little food before she left. She was carpooling with her friends to the dance, making him a little weary. They were smart and mature kids like she was but he still worried.  
\---  
About an hour later, Thomas got a text message. Peggy needed him to come pick her up. Anger swelled up in him as he feared the worst. But he didn't let it get the best of him.   
When he arrived, his daughter was sat on the curb in front of the school. Her best friend, Theodosia jr., was sat comforting her. He proceeded cautiously and Peggy looked up he did. He knelt down and swept some hair behind her ear.   
Her cheeks were puffy, her eyes too, and tear stained. He looked into her sad eyes as she forced a smile. He suddenly got an urge to go in and fight somebody. But he knew she would scold him, and he would be in deep Sgt for breaking a kid's nose. So he kept his cool.   
He thanked Theo and carried Peggy to the car. It was the least he could do.   
They drove home in silence, but holding hands.  
\---  
Peggy was doodling, comfy on the couch in her fluffy pajama pants and loose t-shirt. Thomas sat at the window nook, fiddling with an speaker. Once he had hooked his phone up, he grinned like an idiot.  
"Peggy dear~ Come dance with me." He cooed, standing over her with a hand extended, having already started the song.  
"But your hip-" she was referring to his bad hip. Last year, he had fractured it slightly from falling while playfully climbing a tree. It has since healed but lately his arthritis was acting up, especially in that spot.  
"I'm fine." She sighed as his reassurance and took his hand. He whisked her to the more open space of the living room and held her close.  
"I know I'm not the greatest dancer. And I don't walk right or talk right, but I try." He said, as his gently spun her.  
"I know, daddy. And it's quite alright. I wouldn't have you any other way~"  
She was his whole world and kept him motivated to continue living.  
Oh sweet Peggy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> id die if someone drew Peggy spinning on a swivel chair  
> or dancing with Thomas  
> also yes if it werenr illegal, he probably would have broken a kids nose


	24. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> epilogue~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is everyone gonna be mad for this

Peggy went on to get a degree in teaching. She enjoyed children and wanted to help them learn. She started with elementary school, did a few years of teaching junior high, and stuck to high school for her other teaching years. She often flopped back and forth between teaching biology and creative writing because she loved both.  
Thomas lived to 89. His arthritis has slowly gotten worse but besides that, he lived his last three decades happily. In his will, he left a good portion of his saving to Peggy to help her financially and urged part of the rest go to the orphanage. The one Peggy was adopted from. He wanted it for her sake and because he knew Alexander had been an orphan. He wanted to give back.  
Peggy ended up marrying her long time boyfriend she had had since her first year of college, Phillip. They were both 25 and Thomas cried greatly. He was sad to let his little girl go, feeling almost that he had lost her like he had lost Alex, but instead gained a son-in-law. Phillip was a good guy. Sweet and very protective. Two qualities Thomas looked for.   
The two didn't have children together but the orphans Peggy taught felt like her children. She was 30 when she had gotten a lead and found out who her birth parents were. They had been Maria and James Reynolds. The three met up once but Peggy felt closer to Thomas and Alex as her parents.   
She went on the publish some of Alexander's stashed away writings, doing him a solid. After Thomas passed, she did donated a part of his fortune to the orphanage, allowing them to do renovations and such. She also had a small garden dedicated to the couple.  
At any point, Peggy could of written herself out of the narrative. But rather, she added onto it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is everyone sad  
> or hating me for ending it like this


	25. Song List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the list of songs used

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd highly reccommend listening to these songs!!

1) Fake It - Seether  
2) Afraid - The Neighbourhood  
3+4) Bittersweet - Panic! At The Disco  
5) Sarah Smiles - Panic! At The Disco  
6) Lithium - Nirvana  
7) Cecilia - Simon & Garfunkel  
8) Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's  
9) Everybody Talks - Neon Trees  
10) Animal - Neon Trees  
11) Need You Now - Lady Antebellum  
12) Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum  
13) The Pantaloon - Twenty One Pilots  
14) Slide - Goo Goo Dolls  
15) I Think I Wanna Marry You - Bruno Mars  
16) Mirrors - Justin Timberlake  
18) Johnny Boy - Twenty One Pilots  
19) Iris - Goo Goo Dolls  
20) Can't Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley [alternatively: Twenty One Pilots cover]  
21) Wonderwall - Oasis  
22) Drops of Jupiter - Train  
23) Rosa Dear - Ruth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone wants, I could,make a youtube playlist or SMTH of these songs


	26. Author Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my notes

First off, waa I'm sad I ended this. I'm more deeply invested than I thoight I would get. but I would hate to have dragged it out for like 7 more chapters of SMTH

Note 1 (technically 2):  
I have no established timeline, really. I have a rough one. Peggy was born 5/12/17 (or 12/5/17 for Europeans). Alex and Thomas got married probably in like august of 2015 or around there. Peggy turned 15 in 2032. Thomas and Alex were born in 1983  
Note 2:  
I'm 14 years older than Peggy  
Note 3:  
at the beginning, I was going for more of a "Pretty. Odd." (one of my Fics on wattpad) outline but this strayed very far. it was probably due to me getting ideas and basing it off songs not on the same album  
Note 4:  
I'm terrible at writing characters. as you saw. jefferson in the musical is arrogant at and sassy (and my queen). jefferson in my fi c started arrogant but ended up a big softie. Hamilton is loud mouthed and a great arguer. mine was eh. Peggy was pretty the same tby. other characters either barely got ""screen time"" or were different. and I apologize. but I guess my excuse is the differences were for the sake of the fi c  
Note 5:  
I really really appreciate all of the support this fic has gotten!! its currently at like 600+ hits and like 30+ kudos. I never expected that at the beginning. I was even happy for 66 hits so this is mind blowing. so thank you all again.  
Note 6:  
this one is just sappy lol. it would be if people like exadorlion and other Hamilton exdordanaires read this fic. it would make me have a heart attack no doubt but it would be cool. and it would be cool if some really cool artists drew scenes from this. I can draw but not as well as like bunny-yams or midnigtartist so if people like them drew scenes from this, id die  
Final note:  
Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Love you all!   
"So long and goodnight." ~ Gerard Way, in Helena

**Author's Note:**

> Wow that actually turned out a little better than I thought it would?? Surprising


End file.
